Category: Empty nest

That happened…again

Featured by Stacy Ziegler, posted in Early Retirement, Empty nest, home exchange, Inspirational, Lifestyle, Mexico, Travel

Months have passed since the last entry, I am beginning to think I should rename this my quarterly blog site.

The events since October have been continuous. We have had a steady stream of visitors; my kids, my coworkers and my friends have all made the trip down with Lisa’s niece (and her family), mother/step father, sister (and her family) One of our most memorable guests was my best friend who came down (with her family) and her husband in mid October to celebrate their 25 year wedding anniversary. Lisa performed the ceremony and we honored the local culture with offerings and Copal, it was magical. Lisa’s dad and step mom are coming next week though they are treating themselves to a week at an all inclusive resort in Playacar before they stay with us for a few nights. My youngest son came down in November and we flew back to Washington with him in December due to a sudden tragic loss of my other best friend’s daughter.

We completed our first Home Exchange in NYC over the holidays, which was really living out a life dream of mine. Despite the absolutely awful, freezing cold wind directed directly into our eyes, we managed to make it to the Christmas Eve showing of The Rockettes, “Christmas Spectacular” and spectacular it was! It felt surreal and dreamlike, as if we were in a movie. We also went out to Coney Island on New Years day to grab a hot dog and people watch those who were crazy enough to participate in the polar bear plunge. We dined at several places but our favorite had to be Pig Heaven, where we had Christmas Dinner. Their ribs…no words to do them justice. They were so tender, flavorful, finger licking sticky, pieces of deliciousness. We were lucky enough to be within a few blocks of everything, including the subway. We were just a block down from an actual speakeasy, the concoctions were impressive! We spent a fair amount of time in the apartment, enjoying the breathtaking view from the corner apartment, snacking on charcutier trays, and delighting in foods we cannot get here. After meandering through numerous parks, ferry landings, subways, burrows, etc. we wrapped up our trip by visiting Summit One Vanderbilt. If you go, you should book well in advance if you are aiming for sunset or a night time visit.

Rockefeller Center Tree/ Drinks at the UES / Vanderbilt One

I have spent endless hours planning ,messaging, and prepping for our next big adventure. The ADVENURE OF A LIFETIME! Really, it is. I have planned this for months and I know the odds of ever being able to do it again are slim. When we retired, our goal was to travel. The big question became how to do that on a sustainable level where we were not just blowing through our savings. Through Home Exchange, we have found many others, like ourselves, who want to reasonably travel. Our first exchange in NY was perfect. It was beyond perfect really, we have friends in NY now and we plan on exchange with them again in the future. I don’t expect all of our exchanges to go that well but being able to text, call or video chat with our incoming guests have made this a much more comfortable experience for all. We have 87 days of travel ahead of us. 15 of those days will be on a cruise across the Atlantic. From there, we have reciprocal exchanges lined up for Montpellier, Marseille and Florence. We are allowing other Home Exchangers to use our home for guest points, which act as currency. In return, we had enough guest points to cover our stays in Barcelona ,Paris, Rome and Santorini. We are planning a minimum of a week per city and almost 2 weeks in Rome as we want to use it as a base to explore Naples, Pompeii, Sorrento, etc. We are only paying for accommodations for 6 out of those 87 days. A highlight of Home Exchange is being able to “live like a local.” Hosts are happy to provide information on where to eat, visit, etc. that can’t be found in a travel guide 😉

As for life in Mexico, it is still just as great and full of surprises and adventures as it has ever been. Lisa had to see a dermatologist for a suspicious mole. She was able to be seen in 3 days, it cost 1300 pesos (65 dollars) and the doctor was fantastic. She took Lisa’s medical history herself and spent about 45 minutes with us discussing concerns and what to look out for. She even had me look through her dermascope so I could see for myself what she was seeing. We also had to go through a process of changing out our license plates and registering the car for this year. It was not hard to do but one does question the logic behind making everyone change their plates every 3 years, at the same time. The lines in some places were hours long, I lucked out on a rainy day at a satellite office where it only took me 20 minutes.

When we returned from NYC, we did talk about possibly buying another home back in the States but then we were reminded of all the reasons we left. Sometimes it feels like we are on perpetual vacation and coming back from NY felt like we were coming back to a vacation house and not a home but that is exactly what we need it to be for the next few years. Who knows what the future will bring. Especially in regards to taking care of parents, helping out with grandkids (one day, I hope!!) or other unknowns but until then, we are going to travel travel travel and continue living our best lives!

Time flies……

by Stacy Ziegler, posted in Early Retirement, Empty nest, Ex pat, home exchange, Inspirational, Lifestyle, Mexico, Moving abroad, Travel

I can’t believe we have been here 5 months. I also can’t believe that I haven’t managed a blog post since June, but….. here we are.

Our first month or two just felt like we were on an extended vacation and month 3 started to feel like groundhogs day. I decided to pick up some piece work to give me more to do while Lisa is contently working on her puzzle or living her best life in the Ocean. We did not start having guests until August so we had plenty of time to settle in. Since then, we have had either friends or family down on a pretty regular basis. First my my 3rd oldest son and his friend, then Lisa’s niece and her family came, then my second youngest and his girlfriend, then my best friend and her children (though they stayed at a resort up the road) but Lisa and I happily hosted their 25th wedding vow renewal at our house, at sunset, under the palapa-it was magical! I have my friends and work colleagues coming in tomorrow for a week, I am sure there will be work done, for tax purposes 😉 next up is my sister in law and her son, then my youngest will arrive the last week of November. Tired yet? My oldest son will make the trip at some point. We are going back to Washington to spend a month next summer so it may be until then that I see him but he calls me frequently so I am not complaining.

So what’s it been like? It has been great! I feel like I know the Cancun airport, Playa del Carmen and all the local cenotes like the back of my hand. It took me FOR EVER to get an RFC (tax ID) number to open a checking account but I finally got that done last month. It was a challenging experience since I have limited Spanish reading skills but the employees at the SAT office were helpful and patient. There was a local man there who could not read sitting next to me while we were filling out forms and he asked me what his paper said, I can’t describe the feeling that left me with. There is very much a class system in place here and dare I say that the original settlers of this land are treated the worst. You could draw parallels from the Mayans to the Native Americans except that here, the Mayans don’t have much protection from exploitations. Work environments, tools, etc. are very archaic and that is the typical job for a Mayan, a laborer. Watching a man at work with a pix axe-going at limestone- in 90 degree weather makes my work ethic look questionable, if not almost embarrassing. When we hired a local contractor to install a pergola for our car, this is exactly what I witnessed as well as several workers, sitting on the supporting beams of the pergola, nailing in sticks of wood by hand in the middle of a thunderstorm. A power tool was used once… Even for workers who are paid legally, the Mexican minimum wage is 172 pesos per day (about 8 usd) and I can tell you that the cost of food and gas down here is only slightly less expensive than in the States because we live in a tourist state but that doesn’t mean they get paid more. One more before I get off my soapbox, in Mexico, it is very common to have a housekeeper and for her to come several times a week (Once is good for us). The pay is more than the minimum wage (usually) but not by much. My neighbors maid offered to clean our house when our housekeeper was away once and we took her up on it. She showed up with her 12 year old daughter as she was her apprentice, she was teaching her how to correctly clean houses, make the beds, etc.. I know not all kids go to high school here (and by here, I mean Mexico, not this privileged little community that I live in), some stop at 6th grade so they can work and help support their families but to see what that looks like left me extremely humbled and full of guilt. It is, after all, only a fluke that I was born in the States and yes, white privilege is real, even here.

If you look closely, you can see two extension cords strung together behind the man

Going to the store, out to eat, driving, shopping etc. has all become very normal. When we first moved down, I was hypervigilant about everything, now I am only hypervigilant about some things. We have the water delivery schedule down as well as the Gas guy (Propane home) and it feels….like home!

We went to Oaxaca in July for my birthday, it was truly a unique experience. We were lucky enough to go during Guelaguetza! This is a celebration of traditions and culture from the surrounding communities. Let me tell you, Oaxacans are some amazing and proud people and they now how to party! The food, the historical tours, the food, the mezcal, the food, the cooking class, the food, the ruins of Monte Alban, the food…Yes, it was amazing! We had no idea the parade route would turn right in front of our hotel, Casa de Siete Balcones. The hotel purveyors set up the rooftop for us so we could watch. It was a once in a lifetime experience.

The prices of food and items in Oaxaca were close to half of what they are in Quintana Roo. We are very much looking forward to traveling throughout Mexico and hope to do so next year. As for now, we have set up our home here on a few different home exchange sites and have several upcoming trips. We are exchanging homes over Christmas/New Years with a couple from Manhattan and next spring, we have exchanges set up in Spain, France and Italy! So far this, BBYODO thing is really panning out 🙂

TTFN!

And… We’re off!

by Stacy Ziegler, posted in Early Retirement, Empty nest, Ex pat, Inspirational, LGBT, Lifestyle, Mexico, Puerto Aventuras, Riviera Maya, Travel

So much has happened in the last two months and I don’t have time to do a break down but I will when we settle. Unfortunately, right after my last post my wife and I came down with COVID that knocked us down for several weeks. Triple vaxxed and still, but I digress..

I have often looked to the universe for signs. Good, bad, indifferent, I have come to rely on signs to point me in the right direction. If it is meant to be, it will. If it isn’t, stop fighting and listen. We have gone from a dream, to a plan, to an action. We sold our home to friends during this crazy market. It has reaffirmed our decision and it felt so right. We have sold our cars without issue, donated, gifted or sold the rest of our belongings and the path has remained clear. We will be leaving Washington state later this week for a, ” farewell tour” to California to see my family before boarding a plane on a one way ticket to Mexico later this month.

I will update next month after we settle in. Until then-Saludos!

Back to what?

by Stacy Ziegler, posted in Colombia, Empty nest, Lifestyle, Parenting, Travel

As labor day came, so did the flurry of Facebook posts of people sharing pictures of their children on their first day of school. In our house and for the first time in over 20 years, I had nothing to share. My youngest son is only a junior but we live in a state where juniors and seniors get to take their classes at the college for free and have them count towards their associate’s degree as well as their high school diploma. The fall quarter doesn’t start for another couple of weeks and even then I highly doubt he will let me take a first day of college picture of him though that won’t stop me from trying! This week we are also celebrating my second oldest son’s graduation from massage therapy school. About a month ago my wusband decided he would take a 3 week long trip to Colombia starting this week as well. (Apparently my ideas are contagious!) It’s just such an odd yet proud feeling, watching them grow up and become adults with careers and significant others.

Thanks to significantly dropping mortgage rates, my wife and I recently refinanced our home and will save hundreds of dollars per month in mortgage payments. The idea is going to be to hang on to the house and rent it out while we are out of the country. We have also decided that we need to do the majority of our traveling in the next two and a half years as we will be pretty limited once we no longer have the same income that we have become accustomed to. This is not necessarily a bad thing but trying to run a few different companies, plan for vacations and relocation scouting trips, and focus on my family has proven to be somewhat overwhelming. I am a planning fanatic so in the back of my mind I keep feeling like I’m missing something for upcoming trips. I’m trying to practice flexibility because I know I cannot possibly anticipate everything that might go wrong. I used to be extremely anxiety ridden over trips when the kids were younger and when we had less money. Over the years I’ve learned to be more fluid and the family is pretty much running itself. As a matter of fact I agreed (somewhat reluctantly) to cancel the car reservation for our upcoming trip to Colombia. Based on feedback from locals, it’s easier and more affordable to use taxis and public transit. We shall see! I’m sure we will learn more when the wusband returns. Talk about brave! His first solo trip and he sets out to Colombia.

My oldest son is spending a lot of his time down in Oregon building a timber frame home and living his best life. My third oldest son transferred from Montana State back to Washington so he will be starting at Western in the winter. He’s not sure what career path he will be going down and that’s okay, he is only 19 after all. I’m 43 and I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up! I’m so proud of all my boys. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

So they’re you have it. They’re is no “back to” anything. The only things guaranteed in life are change and death. Being brave requires a step outside your comfort zone. I can see resilience and bravery in every one of my family members and I could not be more proud.

But what about family?

by Stacy Ziegler, posted in Colombia, Early Retirement, Empty nest, Lifestyle

Today is the last day of school for my 16 year old son, next year he will be a Junior. He is the last of 4 boys who range in age from 16-25. My family is, and has always been, the focus of my life. Slowly becoming an empty nester has made this inevitable transition easier. I have gone from buying 2 gallons of milk at a time to 1, then to a half. I remind myself that one of the two things guaranteed in life is change, the other is death.

Moving to another country, away from my children, will not be without struggle. Even though the majority of them have moved out and are adults, we still have regular family dinners, celebrate holidays and birthdays together and have the random lunch dates just to catch up. As exciting as it is to plan for the future, I continue to have a little momma bear sitting on my shoulder, whispering to me horror stories that might succumb the children if I am not physically present. I flick her off and remind her I have tried to teach my children to be brave, fearless, and to pursue their dreams. Who would I be if I let her keep me from mine?

In researching Colombia, it appears that when we apply for a (M) Migrant or (R) Resident Visa, that children under the age of 25 can obtain a beneficiary Visa. That takes care of my youngest 2 of 4 should they want to spend some time in Colombia. My oldest is a frequent traveler to Costa Rica-he is a bit of a gypsy so I imagine he will make his way to visit plenty of times. My second oldest son talks about traveling with his long term girlfriend during a gap year to Central and South America. My hope? They love it and want to stay but even if they don’t, who is going to pass up a couple of weeks a year with mom on the Caribbean coast? We are keeping some property in the US, whether it is our family home that we rent out or a small apartment is yet to be decided but there will be plenty of coming and going We are trying to be as realistic as possible so we are concurrently planning on returning to the States after a decade or so, should we chose.

As much as I remain family focused, I also remain committed to living my life to the fullest and being the brave, daring, bold, mother that has tried to teach them that they can do, be, accomplish whatever it is that sets their soul on fire. I just might do so while wiping away tears in the grocery store while buying a quart of milk.